First True Love of My Life

"Your joy is your sorrow unmasked. And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears." -Kahlil Gibran

I couldn't think of a more appropriate way to start this blog, than to talk about my first true love who changed my life forever. After all, he is the reason I began journaling in the first place. Sounds kinda boring, doesn't it? Everybody has a first true love, but I don't know many who had one quite like mine. I thought you may like to put a name to a face, so if you look to the left, you'll see one of my favorite pictures he and I took together last summer. Yep, Bodacious was my 140 lb. bullmastiff, and it is because of him that I am who I am today...no, it's is because of him that I am becoming who I am supposed to be.

Would you believe that two and a half years ago I had an extreme fear of dogs? Yeah, I was even afraid of the little ones, weird huh? Well in 2005 I decided it was time to get over that fear and started researching some different breeds. I hadn't settled on any specific breed when one day I walked into a client's house, and there sat the most beautiful, confident, calm dog I had ever come in contact with, a bullmastiff. I had never even heard of a bullmastiff before! So I researched the breed, knew that it was the perfect breed for me, and the rest is history.

He was an amazing dog who's life purpose was much greater than I ever could have imagined. Bodacious was only here on earth for two very short years. Just weeks before his 2nd birthday, he was diagnosed with severe sub-aortic stenosis and chylothorax, two diseases so rarely ever seen in one dog. One day we were going for walks and playing at the dog park, and the next day, the vet told me to take him home and make him comfortable because he would be passing anyday. Devastation, surreal, not possible, they had to be wrong, not my little boy who loved life more than I knew possible.

We went home and I spent every waking moment with him for the next month and seven days. I cooked his favorite meals for him everyday and did extensive research on herbs to help keep him comfortable. The bond that he and I created in that last month together is a bond that will be with me forever. Bodacious passed on December 17, 2007.

My life would never be the same, I care more, love more, laugh more, share more, but mostly I just plain feel so much more.

So I guess the moral of today's entry is that it's worth it, what they say, to face your fears, I did it, and got the best two years.